These words by Sarah Tawai are so true.
Your ancestors are always behind you and always willing to help. You may not believe but there is no harm in asking. You can ask for divine guidance from your ancestors and your God or gods too. It all helps in my experience and works so well.
I was with a lady a few years ago who was alone, she was African Muslim in belief and ancestry, a single expectant mum, staying in a refuge, also living with genital circumcision.
We had met a couple of times before her birth, one was an interview, the second time we went for coffee and walked through the laines in Brighton discussing her birth ideas, life ideas, and how I could best support her. I found the best way to help her through her fears was to talk about her birth and baby as a gift from god, as it truly was. It is for every woman. She gently opened to me, and eventually trusted me enough to talk about her experiences that had brought her to where she was today.
The day of her birth she rang me quite late on during her labour, at 1am after labouring since the afternoon. I arrived at the hospital and she was in her zone, but I could feel her fear. I comforted her, and held her through each contraction. Reminding her to connect with God.
The obstetrician and midwives were monitoring closely, I guessed due to her FGM, her baby was monitored closely too.
The Obstetrician examined her, and she let out a load cry. Calling out my name, Eva, Eva, help me. I was already holding her, and gently encouraging her. I wondered what else I could do, so I silently prayed in my head. I prayed to her God, and her recently deceased grandmother. I asked for healing, comfort and support for my client.
The medical team said for various reasons, I won't mention here, a caesarean would be needed.
The following morning my client turned to me with her new beautiful baby in her arms and said 'Eva, i keep reflecting on the moment my doctor examined me. I felt God come down and move my pain away.'
I sat gobsmacked. That was the moment I had prayed to her God and her grandmother.
I have held spiritual believes for years and practised various ways of spiritual healing, but to hear evidence like this still always fills me with amazement and awe. It goes to show no matter what your belief, you can always help someone else through by simply asking the universe.
My ancestor's really helped me through birthing my own children, and my sister through hers too, we both felt them.
I asked my ancestor's for guidance and asked them to help me move my mind away from my body. I recall doing this with my daughters birth 12 years ago more than in any other of my four births, it helped so much.
Knowing my grandmother's had all been through birth, I asked to draw on their strength. I could sense my Oma with me. It ended up being my orgasmic birth. I wonder if it was because i was so relaxed. So relaxed I didn't even notice the student doctor sat in the room! You can read the story in the summer edition of the new Badass Birthworker magazine.
It's a nice idea to start connecting to your ancestors during pregnancy, i feel it aids your own intuition, sensitivity to your body, environment, augmenting your pregnancy and birth experience.
You could create a birth alter, and find something of your ancestors, or simply write their names on paper. If you dont know their names you find another way to acknowledge them, perhaps you could find a stone, shell, or crystal, to represent them, or draw an image or symbol to represent your lineage. If you don't connect with your family, do this with someone you felt inspired by who you know loved you. You can also connect to divine energies in the way I'll describe too. It's of course up to you depending on your belief.
🌠 Meditation🌠 :
Light a candle, protect your space with smoking herbs (or an essential oil spray), lavender can work for this and is safe in pregnancy.
Take 13 deep breaths, feel yourself relax.
Visualise your aura, feel it expanding around your body. You can push it out with your breath. Then ask one of your female ancestors to come close. Feel them in your aura, you can breath it out further and ask them to step closer until you feel them.
You may not feel them but trust. You may feel a presence, hear them, smell them, or feel a change of tempurature in the room.
Ask them for their strength and guidance to you at this time. You may have questions for them or ask for positive advice from them.
Remember in death peoole are no different to life, but they have a bigger viewpoint of life, plus of course their life experience, and love for you.
Spend some time in the moment. They may have other things to say to you.
When it's time to end, say thank you and ask them kindly to step back from you. Even if you feel nothing do still do thos as not everyone feels.
Feel / imagine your aura coming in closer to your body. Imagine your aura sealing closed, you can imagine wrapping a cloak around you, or imagine your aura as a bubblr sealing your energy in, and others out. Then ground yourself, feel the sofa / bed and earth beneath you.
Then slowly open your eyes.
Smoke yourself again and your space. Blow out your candle closing the space. Drink some water and eat something to ground yourself even more.
There are other ways to connect to your ancestors and ask for support during your pregnancy and for your birth. This is the way I found to work best for me after sitting in spiritual development circles throughout my 20s.
Keep you ancestor items on your alter as your birth moon approaches, you could light a candle each day if you wish. When you are in labour ask your ancestors to come close and support you all during your experience. I'll be surprised if you feel no difference.
Don't forget to offer your gratitude in the days after your baby's birth ❤
I am currently recording all my meditations with help from my dad and his recording and artistry skills. In a few months theyll all be available on a disc.